I Need The Help Of A Professional

My arms hurt. My neck hurts. And I still have a headache.

Why you ask?

Because of this guy.

I'm not entirely sure but I'm guessing he weighs about 500 pounds. And I wrestled him this afternoon. He needs a lot of work so I'm trying to teach him some ground manners but he's having no part of it.

I thought that having his balls cut off would mellow him out a little bit. But instead it turned him into a vindictive, "I'm gonna git u sucka", pain in my ass.

I've decided that I need the work of a professional trainer. I wonder if Jessica Bern is available?

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Are These For Real?

So today I was at work and was a little bored so I picked up a scrubs catalog.

As I was flipping through the pages, I came across a couple of amusing photos.

This one made me giggle to myself.

Take a good look. Exactly how long is her pelvis? It looks to be about 2 feet long! I know the drawstring is right at her natural waist, but look at where the crotch of the pants are!

And this one.... this one made me laugh out loud. Loud enough for others in the office to come ask me what was so funny.

It looks like she either has a penis, an enlarged clit or a weird, huge camel toe!

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Doctor's Office Humor

I'm getting excited.

It's finally getting warmer here in Utah. The mornings are still chilly but at least it warms up during the day.

Which leads me to a bizarre thing that happened at work.

A woman came in to the office wearing a heavy winter coat and flip flops. (First of all...what?!)

I asked her to get on the scale (FYI y'all, when you go to the doctor expect to be weighed, get over it. Thank you.) and she left her big, heavy coat on but slipped off her 1 ounce flip flops. (Secondly....WTF?!)

Seriously. WTF??!!

Why on earth would you take off your flip flops and leave your winter coat on?

People are dumb.

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Milka what?!?!

I can't believe I've never seen this commercial before.

It is too funny!

The reason I heard about it is because Lindsay Lohan is suing e-Trade saying they're using her name and wants the ad pulled.

Yeah, whatever Lindsay. We all know you're not a milkaholic.

You're an alcoholic and drug addict.

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Can You Say Swollen?

My poor little boy!!

I went to see the horses today after work and Sunny's, now empty scrotal sac, is super swollen!!

And tender.

When I saw how swollen he was, I tried to touch him.

He tried to kick me.

And boy is he pissed at me! The whole time I was out there he was giving me dirty looks, putting his ears back at me and tried repeatedly to kick me.

I honestly didn't think he'd hold a grudge. He's a horse, they don't remember things like that. Or so I thought.

And of course, I took a picture.

Did you expect anything less?

He actually looks like he has balls now!

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Not A Boy, Will Never Be A Man

Remember this little guy?

Believe it or not he will be one year old in a little over a month.

It's hard to imagine that one year ago I was waiting and waiting (and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting) for him to be born.

Over the past few weeks though my sweet little boy has started becoming increasingly aggressive. Not so much towards me (he knows better than to mess with me!) but with the owner of the property and with the other horses out where I keep him.

So I decided the time had come to have him castrated.

If I had my own property I probably would have kept him a stallion and used him as a stud because he's such a good looking horse. But sadly that wasn't an option.

Yesterday was the big day.

Sunny must have known he was coming because the vet had a hard time finding his testicles. He drew them up pretty far into himself!

The whole procedure only took about 10 minutes.

Small incision, push the ball through the hole, cut, throw testicle over shoulder, repeat.

Some people think I'm crazy, but I took pictures.

And of course I thought y'all might be interested in seeing them too!

Before

After

Still out...

My poor drugged, hungover baby!

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