Monday, January 16, 2012

Confessions Of A Massage Therapist Part Twelve

I have a massage client that's a bit....freaky, is the word I think I'm looking for.
He is a super nice guy but the things he does and then tells me about, makes me shake my head on occasion.

A few weeks ago he cancelled his appointment with me because he was "sick".
Only to find out a week later that he wasn't sick at all, he'd injured himself and was unable to lay on the table.  I guess I should specify, he was unable to lay facedown on the table (and he still is by the way).

The reason being, he broke his penis.

He finally got the courage to tell me what happened but I'll spare you the details. I think broken penis is enough and I'm sure most of you will figure out what happened without me telling you.

Anyway, before he told me, he tried to make me promise not to laugh. I told him that knowing him, that was something I just couldn't do.
He responded by telling me I was mean and that I couldn't laugh and if I did, he'd know.

So he procedes to tell him how this accident occured and I can assure you, I didn't laugh.
Poor man, was all I could think.  Thank goodness he couldn't feel it as he's paralyzed from the waist down.  But still...

He had to have surgery to remove some dead tissue and he had to wear a traction device for a few weeks as well.
Last week, he offered to show me his sad organ.  Apparently everyone he's told this about wants to see it.
But I politely declined.  He said it looked better and wasn't as mangled and sad as it used to be but I still declined.
It was then he says, "Boy, you really don't like penis do you?"
I told him I did, I just don't want to see them all the time.
To which he replied, "You'll be a lesbian in 2 years."

WHAT?!  Just because I don't want to look at your penis and everyone else that tries to show theirs off, I'm suddenly turning gay?!

Now, had he offered to show it to me when it was all mangled?   I probably would've looked.

11 comments:

Francesca R said...

OMG! First it gave me the creeps the thought of how he could break his penis and then I really think that this guy is a psycho!!

So. Cal. Gal said...

I like penises well enough, but I don't need to see anyone else's except my guy's. They're not the most attractive things on the planet. lol!

And what is it with guys who want everyone to see theirs? I like my boobage but I don't offer to show off 'the girls' to everyone I meet.

Rachel {Da Paura ♥} said...

That's just crazy! Yes, not super excited to look at them! He sounds so weird.

Emi Coco said...

Lovely post!

Shall we follow each other?

WWW.FASHIONWHIT.COM

Formerly known as Frau said...

Wacko I like penises too but seriously who wants to see that crazy....but I do love your stories!

Taj Acosta said...

Wowzers! Ya you show me yours I'll show you mine thingy that some guys never grow out of! lol

Tracy-Girl @ Then I Got To Thinking said...

Oh my goodness... what a creeper!! EEK!!

Thank you for your response to my "fear" post... I appreciate it! I can't believe you worked in a Doctor's Office for a while and had to deal with it - I would always be panicking!

Francesca R said...

have a nice week end!

Betty Manousos@ Cut and Dry said...

i'm with francesca r.

that's just crazy!

hope you're having a relaxing weekend!
xo

Fabiana said...

Omg! It's a really funny but strange story!!!
xoxo
Faby

Annemarie @ Brunch at Saks said...

HA! Oh that is crazy! My friend had a story similar about a guy she dated who broke his, and to be honest I never believed her until now! I didn't even know that was possible!